Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize