Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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