it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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