woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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