i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize