Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize