I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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