she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Everything about him screamed your future.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize