i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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