Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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