At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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