dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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