This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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