Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize