Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
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Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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