while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
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i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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