Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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