ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The beer is more important than you right now.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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