Pregnant stripper...not hot.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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