i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize