just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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