I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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