...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My ATM looks so different sober.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
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I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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