I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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