Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize