Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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