Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she looked like the before picture.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize