It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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