Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize