Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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