Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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