I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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