Where are you?
In a non slutty way
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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