I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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