dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize