Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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