I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize