OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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