Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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