i just wanna soil my oats bro
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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