So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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