my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
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I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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