I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
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I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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