Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize