i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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