Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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