It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
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i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This is classic penis vs brain.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize