I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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