Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
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alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
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