The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize